Ok so let’s get really real here for a moment …
I know you find it hard, the tantrums, the ‘not listening’ the repeating yourself, the defiance the trying to stay calm that happens daily.
And I know that you feel like you’ve tried everything and feel like nothing will change until they grow out of it. Or that you just have to sit it out and it’s just a stage they’re at.
Well, some of that is true: – this bit “ It is JUST a stage” but the rest is, well frankly BS🐮💩
Now this should be music to your ears because it means you SO CAN improve your little one’s behaviour.
However, you need to hear this, “Nothing changes and unless you do something different.” Cue the quote below “
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got” True for many things, right?
Now, you might read this and think I’m harsh. (I’m so not believe me.)
You might read this and think, well it’s ok for her, she’s not struggling like me. ( I have struggled and I sometimes still do)
You might read this and think I’m being judgemental. ( I REALLY am not, I’ve been judged too)
You might read this and feel triggered ( I used to do too, because I was so overwhelmed by motherhood)
It’s ok to think and feel all those things because I would have done too.
BUT I’m hear to tell you that YOU absolutely can improve your little one’s behaviour BEFORE you even get to the discipline stage. Honestly YOU CAN.
You absolutely CAN change and improve things you just need: Knowledge, know how and support. That’s where I come in 😀
Here are my top 5 things you can start doing TODAY to improve your little one’s mis-behaviour.
1 – See your little one’s behaviour differently, see it as communication
Yup, traditional, old school type parenting used to see behaviour as ‘attention seeking, being naughty, defiant, not doing as told, etc, etc. But here’s the thing, it’s simply not about those kind of things anymore. Your child’s challenging behaviour is a form of communication. It’s a way of saying, I can’t cope with what I’m feeling right now. I need help.
Once you start to view this behaviour in a different way you can work out exactly what the problem or frustration is and start problem solving the behaviour. Yeh, I know it all sounds very simple, and I know you probably think it isn’t simple but just starting to look behind the behaviour and viewing it differently, seeing it through your little one’s eyes will make a big difference to how you respond.
2 – Plan for Success
Often inadvertently we set our little one’s up to misbehave. Honestly #TRUTHBOMB we do. How many times have you just popped into the shop at 4pm when your little one is tired and hungry only to be met with a tantrum? How many times have you stayed an extra 30 minutes at playgroup because you’re enjoying the adult company, knowing that your little one was about to kick off?
How many times have you fought with your little one about him getting dressed on an morning? What can you do to make things less of a hassle?
3 – Recognise the part you might be playing
Sometimes, or MOST of the time when my kiddos were little, the way I responded made things a WHOLE lot worse. I mean it was like I threw a whole load of petrol on the fire, REALLY!
These days I try my best to check in on my emotional state and reaction to the events that play out in front of me, and believe me there are STILL many I don’t always respond appropriately. I make no bones about the fact that I don’t have all my ducks in a row right? But just being mindful of my response helps enough to pull me back into the present moment and realise just how much my response is aggravating the situation.
4 – STOP seeing things through your own adult lense.
It’s easy done, BUT remember your little one’s have been on this planet a few short years. They don’t know what we know. They don’t have the coping skills, knowledge and know how of this big wide world yet. What might seem trivial or unimportant to you, isn’t to them.
Use EMPATHY daily. Tell them you understand, even if it makes absolutely SOD ALL sense to you to empathise with your child in that present moment. EMPATHY Daily!
Want to know how you can ‘ FILL YOUR CHILD’S GOOD BEHAVIOUR TANK? Watch the 5 minute video (the training is now recorded not live) and click the link here >>>HERE <<<